Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
