the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
