I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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