i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
