are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
