I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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