im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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