Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
