that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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