The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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