Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He passed out mid-signature
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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