youre lurking in front of me
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
