Me too!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
