theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So. Much. Porn.
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