Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
