This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
