I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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