Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
