So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
