So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
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