so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
