i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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