Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
