i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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