New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
