but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
