Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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