it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
NoShamevember. You game?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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