two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
