There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
