also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
