We won't sleep together?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
And then he peed in my hair
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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