She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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