I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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