i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
