I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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