she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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