do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
