Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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