My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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