i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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