absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Pooping to opera.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
