Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
