One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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