I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
