I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
