you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
