Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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