my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The adults are the big ones right?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
