You made me cry and you don't even care
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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