You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
