I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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